Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
