it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
