either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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