is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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