I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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