you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
honey bunches of taint.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
