Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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