She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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