i barfeds in our rink
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
