Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
sarcasm needs its own font
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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