Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
