How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
