Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
