She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
