it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
