"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
