Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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