ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
