is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Still dying that you shit outside
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
