your parents love me but you hate me
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
