I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
