I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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