it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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