Pregnant stripper...not hot.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
should my penis look like a turkey
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
