I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
