Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
