craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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