the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
