Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
