thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
