And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
