If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
