my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
