i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
