she smelled like a LAN party
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Houston, we have a blender
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
