Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
