**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
