you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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