we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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