so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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