I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
