you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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