Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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