I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Btw I puked in your glovebox
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
