He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
