If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I have aggressive nipples.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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