i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
