He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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