Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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