Buhtt sex?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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