lets start a swedish sibling band together
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
