ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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