K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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