wrigley field is MILF paradise
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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