How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
