I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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